Choose Hope again & again

Always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you. 1 Peter 3:15

It will make no sense to anyone why we can still remain joyful even after receiving all of these trials and tribulations that they put down on us. I’m not saying we are ALWAYS facing trials but when they do come, they hit us right where it hurts. 
We need to give people an answer of where our joy comes from: from above. God my savior allows me to feel joy because I know that that trial I’m experiencing is only for a fleeting moment but God’s love and power lasts for ever. The pain and suffering is all to glorify Him and so if by going through trials I can please Him, that’s a reason to feel joy for I am fulfilling my purpose for Him.

My way vs. HIS way

With my week fast over, I see how easy it is to fall back into old habits if you donr catch yourself. I hope I become more conscious of how high I prioritize food over God and that i may chance my ways.

 As I make my way back down to MD, there is an email that awaits me. Its my decision for an summer internship I applied to. As positive as I try to be in the aspects of my life, for things like this I always assume the worst.

I don’t know why but I want this internship very badly. I think it’s because sometimes when you’re constantly hearing “no” from others, it strengthens you but at the same time it really hurts your self esteem. 

I prayed to God that it may be His will that I get the internship. I pray it is His will and that if God forbid it isn’t– that He may provide me with opportunities this summer that lead me in the path of what he wants me to do for my career. 

The anxiety is choking me, but I am just too scared to check .Today I needed a passage to encourage me and I came across Hebrews 6:9-10 :

“But beloved, we are confident of better things concerning you, yes, things that accompany salvation…For God is not unjust to forget your work and labor of love which you have shown towards His name”

I have to remind myself that MY way and GOD’s way are not always in alignment . What He wants for me is unknown to me but I know it is a plan that fulfills glory and I want to honor that. I never want to let HIS WILL get blinded by my wants but I pray that they might align. 

God is good all the time, when we get what we want and even when we want. I was just telling my friend yesterday that it is not about how you praise God when you good things happen but how you praise him when good things DON’T happen. I pray that whatever the outcome is , though I may be upset for a while, that it doesn’t stop me from praising God. 

I am going to check my email in a few hours. Whoever is reading please pray for me and also don’t forget to thank God for the life and grace He has given all of us! Oh how He love us!💕

day 7

Yesterday was a different day. Not only was I fasting, I was also going on a 7 hour van ride to North Carolina to do community service. 
Needless to say, not only did I do cardio for an hour straight at the gym in the morning, I was in a full car with no room to stretch my legs and dealing with extreme nausea and headaches from motion and not eating, as well as my usual daily fatigue. BUT, I’M BLESSED. 

Do you know why? Because despite all that and my thoughts that I would feel better if I just ate, I didn’t succumb until it was the Lord’s appointed time. 

Today really showed me a lot about the willpowr that I have developed just over the course of 7 days. I watched pasta made just the way I like it right in front of me, smelled the great tasting aroma and watched others eat all day but still stuck it out because this fast is so much bigger than me, it’s for HIM. 

Now myself and a group of 8 other girls are in the historical town of Princeville, North Carolina to lend our aide in repairing some of the houses damaged by Hurricane Matthew. I pray that God allows us to do the most good despite our limited time here. 

But I pray that God allows that to me a moment where I can speak out about why I serve Him the way I do and that He can speak through me and bud seeds of belief and convictions in the hearts of some, if not all, these girls. 

Today was my last day(even though I didn’t know) I pray that God truly wakes me up and gives me the strength to follow after Him though His path is the least desired. I pray for those j know , love and those who I don’t, that regardless they may come to know God before it is too late! 

Amen.