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roadblocks

SO it has definitely been a while. I told myself I would use this as an outlet for the hard times and also share the gospel through my posts –but honestly I’ve fallen short on both counts.

it seems as if so much has happened. My last post was about choices, choosing joy over sadness, choosing love over loneliness; and I have to say for the most part I’ve done so.

For a quick run-down., the house we have moved into is finally a home. My parents are trying to keep it together financially, my older brother is finally getting serious about his future and I am truly seeing the things that matter in this life and appreciating every opportunity (good and bad).

Fast forward to today I am not going to into the things that have been going on because ..quite honestly, what’s the point? I’ve overcome them.

The thing that has been constantly on my heart lately has been feeling God and doing His will. Romans 1:16 says I should not be ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ but it seems as though my actions aren’t preceding me. In my conversations with people I always seem to be shying away from telling people about the all powerful God and how their actions do not correspond to His will on how to live our lives. How can I love a person that I refuse to defend? I would stand up for my parents, grandmother, siblings and close friends in a heartbeat —so why not my creator? HE who continues to love me despite my shame, my imperfections and my faults.

I ask God for courage and strength that I may be able to profess His name as to the reason why I live, as my reason for joy, my light in the darkness. I want to be known as a person that walks with Jesus and the problem is, it seems as though my head is feeling it–but my heart doesn’t. My heart feels as if it has been displaced, it feels empty. When I read my word, when I pray. My mind is retaining God’s wisdom, but my heart is somewhere else ans I do not know how to get it back. Whoever is reading this just pray that I find my way back.

I will make more of an effort to write more about my journey to home, to God.

Starting Sunday, I will be fasting to re-align myself to the God I serve. I will try my hardest to make it different this time and speak  of the journey, the thoughts I have as I attempt to starve my flesh for His glory.

“Salvation is found in no one else. For there is no other name under Heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.” Acts 4:12

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